my next mistake.

there is a sickness inside of me. a silence creeping up. there is no use to praying. the hollow inside of me is just too big. death would be becoming. but no option.

the future seems blank. there is no way of looking forward. when i try to see the future all i see is blackness, a black mist. there are no options, no opportunities. besides, well, maybe slavery.
looks like the emptiness inside of me will never get filled. it will be empty for all eternity. every time i breath a bit more comes out. the hole gets bigger and bigger.

the ceiling looks so beautiful in its whiteness. you stare at it and peace overcomes you.
but you cant do it for ever.

my tired eyes can no longer see forward.
my tired nose can no longer breath.
my ears keep hearing paradise,
always a step away.

what is my prison? is it the world i'm in? is it the reality i'm not sure of? the room that confines me? is it my body out of which i can't get out?
is it my brain that controls everything?
is it my brain that controls everything?

which is my prison? which holds my existence. where do i stand. where is my next step. where to will my next thoughts stray, my next deed, my next action, my next mistake.

my next mistake.