Dead Flag Blues

Today I sought inspiration somewhere else. In the music of Godspeed You! Black Emperor. In my opinion, the best band ever to have existed.

I could walk through the night for hours; it lied peacefully in my heart. I could smell its beauty, taste its wonderful scent; I could feel it in its wholeness. At times my thoughts would stray, and I’d start thinking, wouldn’t it be great to be a vampire, a creature of the night, one that truly appreciates nights’ beauty? But, does he really have a choice? Can he choose the world he wants to live in? The empty streets, the peaceful darkness, the gloomy yellow streetlights, the time of sleep; when everyone can truly be who he wants to be?

Who am I? I hate this question. When you meet someone new, and you start being interrogated, as if you were a criminal. What if I told you I didn’t know? What if I told I had no story to tell? Would you be disappointed? I’m sorry, but I don’t dream, I don’t make up stories, I live reality. A reality that doesn’t exist.

I’m a musician, and my instrument is time. I’m a poet, and my words pray silence.

Thought I should get back to writing. My mind is in a desperate need of some practice. I have been away searching for different realities for far too long now, swimming in the eternal world of ones and zeros. It's time for the simple process of imagination to take place in my own mind again. But I don't think my mind is just ready for such a challenge yet. I've started looking at my old notes again, and a solution came to my mind, what better way to start practicing, than by trying to continue something started long ago? So I've decided to post what I already have of Maelström, and to continue what I once was so proud of writing. It'll be coming in in parts, everyday something new. A good way for me to come to terms with my self again maybe? We will see.


Maelström

It was a wonderful night. It could have been better. Smoke was filling his room, and a [beautiful] full moon shone through the window. There was no need for further words. She had given her everything, given her best.

He was everything and nothing, the whole gamut of human emotion. He was frail and fungible, a fallen hero foreseeing his own demise. His sepulcher was his heart.

He was a deist, the demigod of his own universe. He was a hopeless millenarian, a nihilist, a walking paradox. His own nemesis.

He loved the night. And it unraveled him.

Fúria

As folhas estão caindo.
No começo lentamente ,
como se estivessem
suspendidas pelo ar,
silencio.

O silencio antes da queda imediata,
a pressão do vento.
E assim se abre o céu,
um espelho.

Refletindo tudo que eu sonho,
tudo que eu odeio.
Estou caindo a dentro
deste espelho.

Uma luz que não emite
claridade no seu centro.
Essa e a cor do meu sofrimento,
das cicatrizes que a rosa me fez.

E as folhas atingem o chão,
o que existia, ja não existe mas.
O sol escurece, um vermelho sangrento.

continuo a minha queda,
o portal se abre,
E as palavras vão se desenvolvendo,
xeque-mate!

Fúria.

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English Translation>

The petals are falling.
Slowly in the beginning,
As if suspended by air.
Silence.

The silence before the imediate fall,
The pressure of the wind.
And the sky opens itself,
A mirror.

Reflecting all my dreams
And all I hate.
Falling into this
Mirror, i am.

A light that doesn't emit clarity
At its center.
This is the color of my suffering,
The scars the rose made.

The petals hit the ground,
Whatever existed, no longer does.
The sun darkens
into a bloody red.

I continue my fall,
The portal is opened.
And the words are evolving.
Check-mate!

Fury.

Square Meter Big Cage

Smiling towards a world you don't know,
Spying its conspiracy with blind eyes.
A haven of sweet fruits and blue skies;
Scent of roses that reach you slow,
Too slow for you to comprehend
That you are lost with an agitated hand.
Looking for something to hold on to,
That sees.

Dead flesh, bloody vows,
Hiking up the mountain you were told
You had to reach, to come close
To something you can hold,
Feel, taste and cherish:
The knowledge of reality.
An endless desert of questions,
Questions without answers.
Silent voices telling you there is no way out
Of that square meter big cage,
Your defying brain.

Welcome.

To myself and to anyone who randomly encounters this blog.

After ages of joining and giving up on internet communities I have decided to launch something a bit more personal. A sort of window into the strange universe inside my brain.

The Posts in this blog will be in different languages, depending on the mood I'm in, the people around me, and the texts I pick out of my archive, some of which are in English, others in German and Portuguese. Well I guess thats it for my first post. Know it isn't anything special, but well, it is just a welcome. to you, dear reader, and to me, for entering the huge world of blogs for the first time.